You’re definitely gonna’ feel this pain one day… Someone will tell you that someone close to you has passed away. Someone will play the shit outta’ you. Someone will tell you, “I don’t love you anymore.” Someone will tell you, “We’re not financially stable right now.” Someone will tell you, “Your mom’s not doing too well lately.” Someone will tell you, “You’ve become very ‘sick’.” Someone will tell you, “You have no one left by your side.”… And when that happens, don’t worry… I’ll still be here for you no matter what… But then I will tell you, “Now you know how I felt.”
Ladies, if you think a hoe ruined your relationship, maybe you need to do some soul searching and self reflecting and ask yourself…. “Did I suck my boyfriends dick enough?” or “Maybe never cooking for him wasn’t such a good idea?”… Hoes cannot ruin relationships. As a girlfriend, you must be…
“The psychology of Whites isn’t the same as the psychology of Blacks. Or Native Americans, or Latinos, or Asian Americans. Male psychology isn’t the same as female psychology. The psychology of the young isn’t the same as the psychology of the old. We are as different on the inside as we are on the outside, and we have the right to be so. People, don’t deny differences; accept them, appreciate them, recognize them & cherish them. They are extremely important.”—Jane Elliott (via inner-sense)
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed…
Really, I don’t think I ever really have. I’m a simple needs guy. So you can imagine just how frustrating it gets when I do ask for something (simple) and people STILL fail to deliver. It’s not like I’m getting mad for no reason, there is ALWAYS a reason. And it’s cause everyone sucks; what happened to reliability?
The title of a song I made last year… It was dedicated to a past relationship that didn’t last too long… who knew that I’d be feeling that same pain again, only this time it’s 100 times worse. I’m not even upset at the fact that I’m single. I’m just upset at the fact that women flaunt what they have & get shit that they think they “want” easily. Men sit around here drooling like the dogs we are. Why? ‘Cause we are dogs aren’t we? After all, that’s what the women make us out to be. Women seem to think that they’re the only ones who have emotions & men are just empty vessels that can me disrespected & stomped on. But fuck relationships… that’s just one minor reason why it’s such a harsh winter. This is probably the first time in a long time where I truly feel like I have nothing. I’m in this building called “Life” and it’s slowly collapsing all around me. I’d love to list my problems but they’re too long & too much for anyone to even comprehend. With regards to health, money, family, “friends”, etc. This just goes on. I was always brought up to believe that it’s wrong & indecent to talk about yourself… I’ve already broke a lot of rules that I was brought up on. Whatever… I just want this all to go away. I’d like to be happy. I’m a real soft nigga right now… Stop it Mohsin.
I applaud the people that understand the reasons behind my being angry, sad, etc. I mean, I’m not a psychopathic maniac who gets this way for no reason, right? Everyone has their reasons to be who they are and I accept that. I never try to change anyone or disrespect them and call them out for who they are because they possibly went through something severe that made them that way. This has been a tough time for me. When I was younger, I lost a lot and it forced me to grow up too fast and deal with too much. The loss of my elder sibling and first love along with dramatic issues within my family just threw me down under. Though it caused a lot of depression, I still kept my head up with optimism. Mini flings here and there, limited relationships, a lot of work, a lot of weight to hold for my family & a lot of time spent with friends who disrespected me because… well, at the time, they were the only friends I had. I fucked up in high school and ended up at Hillcrest. Oh Hillcrest, dearest Hillcrest… This is where I met some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life & also some of the worst… Within due time after high school, I got into a relationship & quit my old job to downgrade to a mall job. Stupidest decisions ever. I should’ve just focused on myself & worried about what I would do with my life & my family before getting into a relationship & before quitting my job. This began drama after drama with short term breaks. It was like a series. This was my last, most recent relationship and I’m not afraid to say that I loved her deeply. Along the way, however, I fucked up a few times and though I rant off apologies like crazy, this doesn’t seem to work anymore. I’ve long since put into my head that I will never play the role of a bitch for no woman. Now, I’m enacting it forcefully. After hearing that one so called “friend” would talk so much behind my back to make me look bad, I’ve just about had it and I’m fed up. My job is a miserable shit hole. My family is disappointed in me. My mother is sick & I’ve been trying my hardest to take care of her. On top of all this, I’m sick too. Though I don’t have the guts to talk about this much, going to the doctor weekly has become an annoyance. I feel deep concern for my father because he’s getting old & I don’t want him to work as hard as he does anymore. I have a handful of friends that I’m proud to call family & have rode it out with me & been there for me but at times, I realize there is only so much anyone else can do for me. I have to be the one to take charge of this on my own & it’s so stressful. Someone very close to me once told me, “The only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief that you are alone.” Well I’m trying so hard not to believe that but unfortunately sometimes it seems all true. I mean who are your friends and family really? They’re just people and people are assholes. I don’t like to assume the worst of people but that’s often the sad reality… Why lead a person on to believe otherwise when in the end it turns out it was true… I’ve become a pessimist. Because I’ve been hurt not just by the people in my life but also by life itself and what it has thrown at me. It absolutely destroys me on the inside to know that my life isn’t going as planned and it isn’t even for the better. No one has any right to blame me for feeling the way I feel because everyone at one point in their lives have felt this. Even if they haven’t, they don’t know the feeling so they obviously can’t judge on that… Smh… I just keep getting that uncomfortable feeling that won’t go away…
“By love you mean big lightning bolts to the heart, where you can’t eat and you can’t work, and you just run off and get married and make babies. The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me… to sell nylons. You’re born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget… I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one…”—Unknown
It’s outrageous how someone can just become quiet all of a sudden thinking about a lot of things. It’s like there’s nothing to say because our thoughts are moving at a speed too fast for us to grasp and vociferate. We just can’t sustain too much of something moving at a faster pace than we are….